Evidences for Self-Awareness
Contents
1 . “What is your struggle?” Assignment for Mental Health and Happines
2. “Inside Your Head: Mind and Rules” Assignment for Mental Health and Happines
3. Reading Assignment for Week 2 of Mental Health and Happines
4. Control of Thoughts and Feelings Questionnaire
5. Reading Assignment for Week 3 of Mental Health and Happines
6. Reading Assignment for Week 4 of Mental Health and Happines
7 . Reading Assignment for Week 5 of Mental Health and Happines
8. Meditation Practices that We Did in Effective Compassionate Communication
23. Self Assesment --
“What is your struggle?” Assignment for Week 4 of Mental Health and Happines
My struggle is my extreme fear and anxiety that arises in social settings. I find it difficult to talk to people, meet new people, and attend social gatherings because of this intense anxiety I feel.
c. What do you want to develop during these classes?
The reason I have intense anxiety in social situations is that I take my thoughts very seriously, such as that I am not lovable, I have nothing interesting, that people will get bored of me, and that I cannot do things perfectly. Sometimes I even stop talking because of my thoughts that I will be judged and scrutinized by others. That's why I want to learn not to take these thoughts seriously, which prevent me from socializing, interacting with people, and starting new things. At the same time, I want to be able to continue socializing, speaking and making presentations while experiencing anxiety.
Why did I add this assignment to this theme?
The main reason why I added this task to this theme is that it allows me to embody the struggle that I face at all social events and in my relationships. In this assignment, based on the information I gained from the book The Happiness Trap and other activities in our Mental Health and Happiness course, I realized that my main struggle is to avoid social environments, not to talk and not to have relationships due to intense anxiety. This assignment also made me think about the causes of this struggle. I noticed that what led to my stuggle is that I am putting too much meaning into my unhelpful thoughts and that I was taking them too seriously. In other words, always thinking of my negative thoughts as if they are real and wise causes intense anxiety in me, and intense anxiety causes me to avoid social situations and talking, trying new things, and taking responsibility.
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“Inside Your Head: Mind and Rules” Assignment for Week 5 of Mental
Health and Happines
Introducing my mind: Dobby
He is an elf known to injure himself when he fails to meet the expectations of others or himself. He blames himself and wants to punish himself when something goes wrong or he makes any mistakes. He thinks he is worthless and therefore deserves to be treated badly.
Some of his rules:
• “I have to be perfect in everything and in all circumstances.”
• “I must never make mistakes and fail”
Why did I add this assignment to this theme?
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Reading Assignment for Week 2 of Mental Health and Happines
Chapter 1: Fairytales
Why did I add this assignment to this theme?
The first part of the book mentions the happiness trap, which I was also a victim of. Society, some movies and books dictate to us that life should always contain joy, fun, contentment. At the same time, we are often labeled as defective by society when we are depressed or not feeling happy. After reading this section, I realized that I was also under the illusion that I should feel happy all the time. Because I had habits that had negative effects in the long run, such as drinking too much alcohol to feel happy and cheerful when I wasn't happy.
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Control of Thoughts and Feelings Questionnaire ( The result of the survey I made in the first week of the minor)
This questionnaire has been adapted from similar ones developed by Steven Hayes, Frank Bond, and others. For each pair of statements, please circle the one that most accurately fits how you feel. The answer you choose doesn’t have to be absolutely 100 percent true for you all the time; just pick the answer which seems to be more representative of your general attitude.
1a. I must have good control of my feelings in order to be successful in life. 😽
1b. It is unnecessary for me to control my feelings in order to be successful in life.
2a. Anxiety is bad.
2b. Anxiety is neither good nor bad. It is merely an uncomfortable feeling.
3a. Negative thoughts and feelings will harm you if you don’t control or get rid of them.
3b. Negative thoughts and feelings won’t harm you even if they feel unpleasant.
4a. I’m afraid of some of my strong feelings.
4b. I’m not afraid of any feelings, no matter how strong.
5a. In order for me to do something important, I have to get rid of all my doubts.
5b. I can do something important, even when doubts are present.
6a. When negative thoughts and feelings arise, it’s important to reduce or get rid of them as quickly as possible.
6b. Trying to reduce or get rid of negative thoughts and feelings frequently causes problems. If I simply allow them to be, then they will change as a natural part of living.
7a. The best method of managing negative thoughts and feelings is to analyze them; then utilize that knowledge to get rid of them.
7b. The best method of managing negative thoughts and feelings is to acknowledge their presence and let them be, without having to analyze or judge them.
8a. I will become “happy” and “healthy” by improving my ability to avoid, reduce, or get rid of negative thoughts and feelings.
8b. I will become “happy” and “healthy” by allowing negative thoughts and feelings to come and go of their own accord and learning to live effectively when they are present.
9a. If I can’t suppress or get rid of a negative emotional reaction, it’s a sign of personal failure or weakness.
9b. The need to control or get rid of a negative emotional reaction is a problem in itself.
10a. Having negative thoughts and feelings is an indication that I’m psychologically unhealthy or I’ve got problems.
10b. Having negative thoughts and feelings means I’m a normal human being. 😽
11a. People who are in control of their lives can generally control how they feel.
11b. People who are in control of their lives do not need to control their feelings.
12a. It is not okay to feel anxious and I try hard to avoid it.
12b. I don’t like anxiety, but it’s okay to feel it.
13a. Negative thoughts and feelings are a sign that there is something wrong with my life.
13b. Negative thoughts and feelings are an inevitable part of life for everyone.
14a. I have to feel good before I can do something that’s important and challenging.
14b. I can do something that’s important and challenging even if I’m feeling anxious or depressed.
15a. I try to suppress thoughts and feelings that I don’t like by just not thinking about them.
15b. I don’t try to suppress thoughts and feelings that I don’t like. I just let them come and go of their own .
To score your test, count the number of times you selected option “a” or “b.” 11 a ; 4b
You may like to repeat this test and see how your ideas have changed, after you have finished reading The Happiness Trap, or completed several sessions of ACT.
Control of Thoughts and Feelings Questionnaire (The result of the survey I made in the last week of the first term of the minor)
1b. It is unnecessary for me to control my feelings in order to be successful in life.
2a. Anxiety is bad.
2b. Anxiety is neither good nor bad. It is merely an uncomfortable feeling.
3a. Negative thoughts and feelings will harm you if you don’t control or get rid of them.
3b. Negative thoughts and feelings won’t harm you even if they feel unpleasant.
4a. I’m afraid of some of my strong feelings.
4b. I’m not afraid of any feelings, no matter how strong.
5a. In order for me to do something important, I have to get rid of all my doubts.
5b. I can do something important, even when doubts are present.
6a. When negative thoughts and feelings arise, it’s important to reduce or get rid of them as quickly as possible.
6b. Trying to reduce or get rid of negative thoughts and feelings frequently causes problems. If I simply allow them to be, then they will change as a natural part of living.
7a. The best method of managing negative thoughts and feelings is to analyze them; then utilize that knowledge to get rid of them.
7b. The best method of managing negative thoughts and feelings is to acknowledge their presence and let them be, without having to analyze or judge them.
8a. I will become “happy” and “healthy” by improving my ability to avoid, reduce, or get rid of negative thoughts and feelings.
8b. I will become “happy” and “healthy” by allowing negative thoughts and feelings to come and go of their own accord and learning to live effectively when they are present.
9a. If I can’t suppress or get rid of a negative emotional reaction, it’s a sign of personal failure or weakness.
9b. The need to control or get rid of a negative emotional reaction is a problem in itself.
10a. Having negative thoughts and feelings is an indication that I’m psychologically unhealthy or I’ve got problems.
10b. Having negative thoughts and feelings means I’m a normal human being.
11a. People who are in control of their lives can generally control how they feel.
11b. People who are in control of their lives do not need to control their feelings.
12a. It is not okay to feel anxious and I try hard to avoid it.
12b. I don’t like anxiety, but it’s okay to feel it.
13a. Negative thoughts and feelings are a sign that there is something wrong with my life.
13b. Negative thoughts and feelings are an inevitable part of life for everyone.
14a. I have to feel good before I can do something that’s important and challenging.
14b. I can do something that’s important and challenging even if I’m feeling anxious or depressed.
15a. I try to suppress thoughts and feelings that I don’t like by just not thinking about them.
15b. I don’t try to suppress thoughts and feelings that I don’t like. I just let them come
and go of their own .
To score your test, count the number of times you selected option “a” or “b.” 1 a ; 14b
Why did I add this assignment to this theme?
The first time I did this survey above, my result was 11a; 4b, but when I did this survey again this week, the result was 1a; 14b. Choosing 'a' more means that control problems are likely to cause significant suffering in your life. As can be seen from the result, I was trying to control my emotions and thoughts too much in the first weeks of minor. Being in a different country, entering a new environment and making new friends were a source of anxiety for me, just like everyone else. Besides, I had thoughts that I can not speak perfect English, that I am not lovable, that I will be alone, and paying too much attention to these unhelpful thoughts increased my anxiety even more. I was excessively using common emotion and thought control strategies to get rid of my anxiety and uncomfortable thoughts. But instead of working, these control strategies were making the situation worse. For example, I was avoiding situations where I needed to socialize in order not to feel anxiety ( hiding/escaping control strategy). However, when situations where I needed to socialize occurred again, these disturbing thoughts or feelings also reappeared. At the same time, I was spending a lot of energy trying to escape from these thoughts and feelings, and also this situation was holding me back from things I value, such as making friends.
As can be seen in my current result, my attempt to control my emotions and thoughts has decreased considerably. I still can't say that I like them, but I don't pay attention to unhelpful thoughts right now, and I don't spend energy running away from them, getting rid of them. I simply thank my mind (defusion technique) for reminding me of these thoughts. Also, over the past few weeks, I have been as accepting of my feelings as possible and directing my attention and energy to the people and things I care about.
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Chapter 4: The great story teller
Why did I add this assignment to this theme?
In this part of the book, cutting a lemon is explained in detail. When I read these lines, even though there were no lemons around me, I felt its taste, I heard its smell. This activity concretely showed me that although reality is not like that, once the words get into our heads, we tend to react to them almost as if they were reality. But thoughts are just words inside our head. So I no longer look at thoughts as mere reality and direct my attention to them if they are useful and help me create the life I want.
However, it is not always easy to realize the true nature of thoughts, that they are just words. So I use some defusion techniques that allow me to understand that thoughts are just words. For example, I use the ‘I’m having the thought that...’ technique described in this chapter quite often. When the thought "My portfolio sucks" passes through my mind, I simply acknowledge it by saying, ‘I’m having the thought that my portfolio sucks". Using this expression keeps me aware of the thinking process, and when I use this technique, I am less likely to immediately take my thoughts as real. Now, thanks to this technique, I can take a step back and see that the thoughts running through my head are nothing but words.
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Reading Assignment for Week 4 of Mental Health and Happines
Chapter 5: True Blues
Why did I add this assignment to this theme?
Other defusion techniques such as the silly voices technique and thanking your mind, which made me realize that my unhelpful and unpleasant thoughts are just words and made me take these thoughts less seriously, were explained in this chapter. I use these two quite often in my daily life and they help me see the true nature of thoughts.
I often use the thanking your mind technique combined with the naming the story defusion technique described in chapter 4, and it lessens the impact of unhelpful thoughts that cause my intense anxiety. For example, when the thought comes to my mind, such as ‘No one will want to be friends with me, I'm not fun at all’, I say ‘It's my old " I am incompetent" story. Thank you my mind for reminding me of this’. I also sometimes use the silly voices technique to take unpleasant thoughts less seriously. In particular, turning my repetitive negative self-judgments into Dobby's voice works very well and reduces their impact.
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Reading Assignment for Week 5 of Mental Health and Happines
Chapter 7: Look who’stalking
In the light of the information in this chapter, I noticed that there are two different parts of myself, the thinking self and the observing self. My thinking self or my mind is responsible for thinking, while my observing self is responsible for focus, attention, and awareness. After reading this chapter, I also realized that when unhelpful thoughts arise in my thinking self, my observing self does not need to give them full attention. My observing self can instead focus its attention on what I am doing here and now. If my thinking self is generating helpful thoughts, my observing self can pay attention to them.
But it's not always easy for me to let my thoughts come and go while I focus my attention on what I'm doing. That's why I try to use the “10 deep breaths” technique mentioned in this chapter on a regular basis. In this technique, it is aimed to focus the observing self or attention on the breath while taking 10 deep breaths. When we pay attention to the thoughts instead of the breath, we come back to focusing on the breath. This exercise helps improve my ability to let thoughts come and go without focusing, gently unhook myself from thoughts, and refocus my attention on what I am doing.
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I saw a similar effect of the 10 deep breaths techniques in the meditations we did in lessons of effective compassionate communication. I think that my self-awareness increases over time thanks to these meditations. Because in these meditations, I stepped away from ideas, judgment, inner-dialogue and I stepped into a space of awareness; a space where I merely observe how my mind behave, and where I experience the present moment. I was focusing on my breathing and letting my emotions, thoughts and physical feelings come and go. Also, I realized how good and joyful it is for me to be in the moment, even for a short time.
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Reading Assignment for Week 5 of Mental Health and Happines
Chapter 8: Scary pictures
Thanks to this chapter, I realized that unpleasant thoughts are not the only thing that actually causes me to experience intense anxiety and stress, but also that unpleasant mental images in my head lead to this. In other words, I feel very anxious when I fuse with these images, that is, when I take them very seriously, when I give them my full attention, when I react and act as if they are really happening.
Previously, I either used to avoid situations or people or use alcohol to reduce my increased anxiety due to frightening mental images. However, I am now using some defusion techniques such as televison screen, shifting location and changing genres for the unpleasant mental images mentioned in this chapter. For instance, I have an unpleasant mental image that I will cry, not be able to speak and fail during the pitch, and my anxiety increases a lot as this image comes to mind. However, when I put this image on a television screen and watch it in slow motion, I realize that it is nothing more than a harmless picture and does not reflect reality, and I do not take it too seriously. This also reduces my anxiety.
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Reading Assignment for Week 6 of Mental Health and Happines
Chapter 10: How do you feel
Chapter 11: The struggle switch
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“My Personal Mask” Assignment for Week 3 of Mental Health and Happines
At this assignment, I realized the sides that I wanted to show to others and that I didn't want to show to others. I was too afraid of making mistakes and failing. Based on the information I learned from the The Happiness Trap and in our mental health and happiness lessons, I understood that what caused my fear was actually related to my thoughts that told me that I should be perfect in all circumstances. Now, when such thoughts pop into my mind, I defuse them by saying “I am having the thought that…,” and by thanking my mind. I also realized that I was afraid and ashamed of feeling angry and anxious. This was also related to my thoughts labeling being angry and worried as a bad thing.
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Feb.16, 2022
Dear Inge,
My primary caregiver and the first person I had a relationship with was my mother. However, when I was a child she had major depression and anger management issues. For this reason, some days she was nice to me, while some days she tended to ignore my needs, especially my secondary needs such as touching and play. I developed an anxious attachment style, probably as a result of this inconsistent parenting and endless fights at home. Because of this anxious attachment style, I had quite low self-esteem and I didn't find myself worthy of being loved in any way until two years ago. I had strong fears of rejection or abandonment in my romantic relationships, friendships and all other relationships. I was acting like a different person so as not to be rejected by others, and I could never be spontaneous, like myself. However, I have been going to therapy for two years and we've been working on these issues. Now my point of view towards myself and others is gradually changing. Now I can be like myself in relationships, I consider myself worthy of being loved.
At the same time, ever since I came to the Netherlands, my fears of rejection, of not being liked by others began to resurface. I have concerns that no one will like me because I cannot express myself in English exactly the way I want to. Although I know that they are privileged from me in terms of their financial strength and the education they receive, I can't stop comparing myself to people who express themselves very well in English. Therefore, as I mentioned in the 'Start thermometer' assignment, I want to improve my ability to communicate with people and my English speaking skills. I would also like to find an answer to the question of how can I be less anxious when interacting with people during this course.
At the end of this course, if I can be more myself when communicating or bonding with others, and if I can express my own ideas to others with less anxiety, this course will be a success for me. I think that I can notice the change in me from the differentiation in my emotional state. For example, I will notice that I am less stressed when expressing my opinion on a subject to someone. I will also notice whether there is a difference in my ability to relate and open up to others, from the strong bonds I have formed with others, from what others think of me. Of course, I will not rely solely on this course to achieve this improvement. Throughout the course, I will try to be more active, to establish relationships and not to avoid speaking up.
From,
Nursen Güçkan
I wrote this letter to Inge in the first weeks of minor. Now, when I read this letter again, I have better understood the source of my thoughts about inadequacy, worthlessness, and failure, which are constantly pop into my mind and which I have been able to defuse to a great extent these days. When I was a child, my mother, who was my primary caregiver, had her own psychological problems and did not meet my secondary needs, especially love and play. For example, I have many traumatic memories of not being taken care of when I was a child, even though I cried for hours. Also, my father used to fight with my mother all the time, and they were generally just preoccupied with their own relationships. I think that as a child, I may have perceived these as signals that I am worthless and inadequate.
At the same time, I researched my attachment style to write this letter, and as a result of my research, I realized that the most suitable attachment style for me is anxious attachment style. Because I needed constant reassurance that I was loved, worthy, and good enough, which still somewhat is. I also had a strong fear of abandonment. The point I reached from this letter, the traumas in my childhood and my relationship with my parents during my childhood determined my attachment style and shaped my current repetitive self-judgments.
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1. What is the legacy of your family/ancenstors from both sides?
Physical characteristics such as height, face shape and hard work, ability to empathize, attention to details, perseverance...
2. What was their struggle?
The second world war, cold war period, financial difficulties, military coup, marriage problems, difficulty in going to school and difficulty in educating children, health issues
3. What struggle of my (grand)parents/family do I try to solve? (entanglement)
Economic difficulties, political problems, relationship (marriage) problems
4. What qualities do I acknowledge (what am I thankful of/do I recognize in me)?
Despite all these difficulties, they survived by resisting. Also, in all these difficulties, most people in my family were educated and they somehow found a way to be happy. I also face many economic, political and relational difficulties, but like my family, I resist and somehow overcome the difficulties. I continue to be hopeful and find something to be happy about in life.
Why did I add this assignment to this theme?
This assignment showed me the relationship of my current difficulties and current strengths to my family. I realized how the difficulties and strengths of my family shaped me and my life. For instance, my parents' relationship problems caused me to have similar relationship problems because I first learned what a romantic relationship was like from their relationship. Another example is that my mother dropped out of school and got married early due to the economic difficulties experienced by her family, which led to various problems such as depression in her. The fact that my mother did not fully meet my needs because she was depressed also caused me to develop an anxious attachment style. How interrelated everything is…
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“Kick Moment and Talents” Asssignment for Career Design
A moment when I thought I had achieved something:
I have contributed to the organization of protests for women's rights and LGBTI+ rights in Turkey. We were able to stop the law on the cancellation of the Istanbul Convention on women's and LGBTI+ rights for a while.
The talents I have:
- Altruism
- Empathy
- Courage
- Risk-taking
First, I remembered a memory that I thought I was successful in life, and then shared that memory in front of everyone in class. Later, based on this memory, Ties and my classmates told me about the abilities that I have.
If Ties had first asked me what my talents were, what my strengths were, I'm sure I wouldn't have said anything at that moment. Because after this assignment, I realized that I saw my achievements as a duty and I didn't appreciate myself. It made me feel very good and proud when my friends told me about my abilities based on this memory. At the same time, I realized my very important skills that I can use in my future career and relationships. I will highlight these features in job interviews and in my CV. Another insight I gained is that I will try to celebrate my successes, even if they are small, and give importance to them.
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“My Work Values Profile” Assignment for Career Design
According to my result in this test, the work values that are important to me are “autonomy, financial rewards, security, work- life balance, working conditions, work relationships, prestige”. For example, autonomy, that is, having control over my own work, is important to me. That is why I would like to have some degree of independence in my future profession and decide for myself instead of others what to do and when to do it. Also, after taking this test, I realized that security and financial rewards are also important to me in my future job. This means that a permanent contract in my future profession and the financial security it provides is important to me. I would like to receive a high salary in return for my labor in my future job. Prestige is also an important value for me. In other words, how other people and society regard a particular job is an important criterion for me in choosing a job. At the same time, for me, working hours and non-working times should be reasonably separate and in harmony (my work- life balance). And it is important to me to be in solidarity with my colleagues and to be able to get along with my colleagues and managers (my work relationships value).
Why did I add this assignment to this theme?
Solving this test and seeing the results of the test concretely showed me the values that are important to me in my future job. Before this test, although I knew more or less what I wanted to achieve from a job, I could not call it concrete. For instance, I was constantly being asked for something outside of working hours in one of my internships and I was quite uncomfortable. However, I couldn't understand why I was bothered. Now, I realized that work-life balance value is very important to me and what caused this situation was that work requirements conflicted with my value. Now, when looking for a future job or internship, I will apply to jobs and workplaces that fit these values and my abilities, so that I will not experience discomfort, dissatisfaction and loss of productivity.
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“Values Exercise” for Wacko Wednesday
From a list of many values, I chose the 5 most important to me. These are “enthusiasm, equality, financial Stability, well- being, relationship”.
Although it was difficult to choose 5 values among many, doing so showed me my core values. As I realize that these values are the most fundamental and important values for me, I will use these core values as a guide when faced with important decisions such as what kind of organizations I want to work for or what I want to work on in my master's / doctorate. For example, I will not apply to a workplace where there is discrimination or no financial security, stability. I will not apply to a graduate program that does not enthuse me just because I have a chance to be accepted. At the same time, I am going to pay attention to these core values in my relationships with both my classmates and my colleagues. For instance, if I am not treated fairly and equally, I will try to resolve this issue by talking to those people.
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“What Roles Do I Have in Life?” Assignment for Career Design
What can I do to get a better balance? What could the 3 interventions be?
When I look at this pie chart, my roles that take energy from me more than the energy I get from them are my “student, daughter and citizen” roles. Since I can't change my family and my role as their child will never end, maybe moving to a separate house or living in a different country or city sounds like a good idea. Thus, as my time to meet with them will decrease, the energy loss or stress caused by them will also decrease. Also, as seen from the pie chart, my "citizen" role is the one that gives me the least energy. Because of corruption, economic crisis, sexism, homophobia and unemployment in my own country, being a Turkish citizen does not make me happy and does not make me feel safe anymore. To change this situation, I can do my master's degree in a European country where I feel comfortable and safe. Finally, my “student” role takes more energy from me than it gives me. In this minor, I actually started working to change this situation. Some my unhelpful thoughts that have very high expectations of me increase my constant anxiety and thus force me to work constantly. I started to reduce their impact by using the defusion techniques I learned in Mental Health and Happiness classes. Thanks to these techniques, my anxiety is reduced and I don't work all the time, so I have more time for myself and my friends. Now, I can use these defusion techniques more and thus reduce my stress and anxiety that take up my energy in my student role.
When I did this assignment, I gained an awareness of my roles in life, their expectations of me, and my behavior due to my responsibilities to them. At the same time, I realized that the roles I prioritize in situations where these roles conflict. For example, I noticed that my most important role is as a student and that it often conflicts with my other roles in terms of time. At the same time, my prioritization of my student role and therefore working for 10-12 hours some days prevents me from meeting the expectations of my roles such as "friend, lover, sister", which gives me more energy and motivates me more in this life.
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"Reflect Your Communication Style" for Effective and Compassionate Communication
What is your ‘go to’ style?
My communication style is sometimes passive/avoidant, sometimes passive-aggressive and sometimes assertive. If the other person is someone I am close to, I choose more assertive or passive-aggressive communication, but if the people I am not close to and are in a hierarchically higher position than me, I can be avoidant.
Is there a particular style you feel is most challenging to you to take on?
Passive/avoidant and passive-aggressive communication styles are my most challenging communication styles. Because when I try to resolve conflicts with people by using them, I either avoid the conversation that is necessary to solve the problem or I act in behaviors that will not provide a solution.
What styles do you find most challenging to deal with? (others showing up)
I have difficulty communicating or solving our problems with people who use aggressive, passive-aggressive, avoidant communication styles. Because the purpose of people who use the aggressive expression is to dominate and control a conflict rather than resolving it. Passive avoidant people do not try to solve the problem in order to avoid conflict, and this can lead to more important problems in my relationship with them in the future. Since there is a disconnect between the aggressive behavior of people using passive-aggressive communication and their passive words, I often cannot understand what their problems and wishes are.
Why did I add this assignment to this theme?
In this task, I understood that I am uncomfortable when others used communication styles such as passive/avoidant or passive-aggressive, but I also use these in some of my relationships. This made me think about the contradiction between my own behavior and thoughts. And I decided to use these communication styles less in my relationships with others and put more effort into resolving conflict and reaching agreement. In other words, I have decided to adopt a more assertive communication style in my relationships.
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My country of origin is Turkey, and Turkey's scores on 6 dimensions according to Hofstede (Country comparison, 2021) are as follows above. The Power Distance score of Turkey is 66, the Individualism score is 37, the Masculinity score is 45, the Uncertainty Avoidance score is 85, the Long Term Orientation score is 46 and the Indulgence score is 49.
According to the Hofstede test, the scores I got from the 5 dimensions are as above. My Power Distance score is 30, Individualism score is 80, Masculinity score is 20, Uncertainty Avoidance score is 35, Long Term Orientation score is 55.
Comparison of my personal score on the Hofstede test with my country of origin (similarities, differences)
Power Distance
The power distance dimension emphasizes that not all individuals in societies are equal. It also shows the attitude of culture or institutions and organizations within the society towards these inequalities between people (Country comparison, 2021).
Turkey has received a score of 66, which is a fairly high score in this dimension. According to Country comparison (2021), this score shows us that Turkey has a pecking order. At the same time, this score indicates that power is centralized, and people trust their bosses and the rules. In addition, expectations and attitudes about being controlled by bosses, managers seen in the business environment or politics are observed in a similar way in the family unit. People who live in the house, especially women (wife, daughters), usually obey what the father says. My power distane score (30) is quite low compared to my own country. This result shows that I will be comfortable if I live in a place where control is not welcome, where power is not centralized, where there are equal rights.
In my opinion, the most important reason for this difference between my country and me on power distance dimension is that I am a disadvantaged or minority in Turkey in many ways and have been fighting for basic human rights for many years. The fact that my existence as a woman, queer, vegan is not accepted by society and my family, and fighting against male domination, exploitation of labor, unemployment, poverty, flexible and precarious work, increasing male violence and policies of impunity, war, violations of rights in prisons has completely changed my mentality about equality. At the same time, I learned that I needed to be more conscious about concepts such as equality and authority from the courses I took at university, such as philosophy and ethics. Also, thanks to the Erasmus+ programs, I have traveled to European countries such as Germany, Lithuania, Greece, the Netherlands and met people from Europe. Seeing the behaviors, attitudes and hearing the discourses of European people related to equality, human rights and authority led me to question these concepts again.
Individualism
The difference between individualist societies and collectivist societies is that people in individualistic societies define their self-image as "I" and people in collectivist societies define themselves as "we". In addition, the degree of interdependence that a society maintains among its members is higher in collectivist societies than in individualistic societies (Country comparison, 2021).
The individualism score of Turkey is 37, which is quite low. According to Country comparison (2021), this score means that for the majority of people in Turkey, the group, that is, families, organizations, is more important than the people themselves. On the other hand, my individualism score is 80, which is very high compared to Turkey.
The reason why the country where I live and I are so different on individualism dimension, as I mentioned above, may be that I do not want to follow the norms, rules of society. Most of the time, my own values are different from my family and Turkish society which prevents me from feeling like I belong to the group. Also, I choose to defend my own values and be alone, rather than conform to the group. At the same time, I am trying to change the norms and traditions that Turkish society has internalized. I think that activism, my school, and my travels affect my individuality in the same way as power distance.
Masculinity
Getting a low score from this dimension indicates femininity, and getting a high score indicates masculinity. If what motivates individuals in society is to want to be the best, masculinity predominates. On the other hand, if what motivates people is to love what they do, femininity dominates (Country comparison, 2021).
Turkey has received 45 points from the dimension of masculinity. This suggests that it is located on the more feminine side. My score on this dimension is 20, which shows that I am on the feminine side like Turkey. This means that what motivates both me and people in Turkey is to love what they do. In addition, in accordance with Turkish culture, I attach importance to reaching consensus with others and sympathizing for the underdog.
Uncertainty Avoidance
This dimension relates to how threatened members of the culture feel in uncertain or unknown events and how much they form beliefs and institutions that try to avoid them (Country comparison, 2021).
Turkey's score (85) on this dimension is very high. High uncertainty avoidance causes Turkish society to use too many rules, laws and rituals to deal with uncertain events and the anxiety these events create. Also, the score I got from this dimension is 35. This score shows that I accept more uncertainty. Apart from that, it also indicates that unlike my country, I can accept new ideas and innovative products more easily.
The reason for the big difference between my country and my score on this dimension may be that I have learned how to deal with uncertainties in the psychology department and in my therapy process that has been going on for 2 years. At the same time, coming into contact with people from different cultures and living in a different country also made me willing to try something new or different.
Long Term Orientation or Confucian
This dimension is related to how societies maintain some connections with their own past when dealing with the challenges of the present and the future (Country comparison, 2021).
Turkey's score on this dimension is 46. According to Country comparison (2021), a dominant cultural preference cannot be inferred for Turkey because it is in the middle of the scale. My long-term orientation score is 55. I got a slightly higher score compared to my own country. Which means that living in a place with a more pragmatic structure will make me feel more comfortable. Like societies with a pragmatic orientation, I believe that truth depends on the situation, context and time. I am on the side of adapting the traditions to changing conditions rather than sticking to them blindly.
The reason for this small difference between me and my country can be explained by my contact with different societies or cultures. Because the European countries I have visited have a more pragmatic nature. In other words, these societies easily adapt their traditions to changing conditions rather than clinging to the past and traditions, and they have a strong tendency to save and invest. I think that I am inevitably influenced by this pragmatic structure.
Comparison of my personal score on the Hofstede test with my country of residence (similarities, differences)
The Netherlands’ Score on 6 Dimensions
My country of residence is The Netherlands. Also, I am able to relate to this country. The Netherlands scores on 6 dimensions according to Hofstede (Country Comparison, 2021) are as follows above. The Power Distance score of The Netherlands is 38, the Individualism score is 80, the Masculinity score is 14, the Uncertainty Avoidance score is 53, the Long Term Orientation score is 67 and the Indulgence score is 68.
In addition, my Power Distance score is 30, Individualism score is 80, Masculinity score is 20, Uncertainty Avoidance score is 35, Long Term Orientation score is 55. The scores that I and the Netherlands got on power distance, individualism and masculinity are very close to each other. There is also some variation between the scores we got on the other two dimensions (uncertainty avoidance and long term orientation).
Power Distance
On the power distance dimension, our scores are very similar. This means that my perspective on authority and power pretty much overlaps with the Netherlands, where power is not centralized, there are equal rights, there is only a hierarchy for convenience, and there are accessible superiors.
Individualism
We got exactly the same score as the Netherlands on the individualism dimension. The fact that I do not feel belonging to groups in my country, that I prioritize myself rather than the group, and that I determine my own values brings me closer to the Netherlands, which has an individualistic society.
Masculinity
Both the Netherlands and I are positioned on the more feminine side. The reason for this similarity may be that I, like the Dutch, attach importance to maintaining the work-life balance. I would like to do what I do with love instead of being forced to be successful. I also value equality, solidarity and quality in working life, as in all areas of life. Additionally, in my private life, I prefer to resolve conflicts through compromise and negotiation, not by competing or fighting. Because I believe that if we want to live together, we should value what everyone says, thinks and feels. We are very compatible with each other because the Dutch are a society that is known for their long discussions until a consensus is reached.
Uncertainty Avoidance
The Netherlands has received 53 points on this dimension and therefore seems to exhibit a slight preference to avoid uncertainty. Since it does not have a high uncertainty avoidance score, it has no great tendency to maintain strict beliefs and rules of behavior and is not a country that is intolerant of unorthodox behaviors and ideas (Country Comparison, 2021). My lower score (35) on this dimension also means that I am more open to unconventional behaviors and ideas. What leads to this may be that I see different cultures and live in a country that is very different from my culture. At the same time, because I have been working on my own prejudices and traumas in my own therapy process, it is now more difficult for new, unknown things to trigger or disturb me.
Long Term Orientation
The Netherlands and I are also on the pragmatic side. However, the score that the Netherlands received is higher than me, which indicates that it is more pragmatic than I would be comfortable with. The reason why we have slightly different results on this dimension may be that I have lived for many years in Turkish culture and have been influenced by it in this regard. Turkey does not have a pragmatic nature. Most people in Turkey do not think or act accordingly that the truth depends on the situation, context and time. For this reason, I may have been influenced by it whether I wanted to or not, and I could be thinking in this direction.
References
Country comparison. (2021, June 21). Hofstede Insights. Retrieved March 15, 2022, from https://www.hofstede-insights.com/country-comparison/the-netherlands/
Country comparison. (2021, June 21). Hofstede Insights. Retrieved March 13, 2022, from https://www.hofstede-insights.com/country-comparison/turkey/
This assignment shows how the culture of my own country, the Dutch culture that I am in now, and the different cultures that I have been in before have shaped my behavior and perspective. For example, after doing this homework, I saw that I differed a lot from my country in terms of power distance dimension. I questioned how I did not perceive authority, hierarchy and power relations like people in Turkey, where I have lived for 22 years, and how I felt more comfortable in a more egalitarian place where power is not the center. As a result of this, I realized that the fact that I have been fighting for women's, human, animal and LGBTI+ rights in my country for all these years has changed my mindset on issues such as equality, authority and made me more critical. At the same time, I understood how the different cultures I have been in, the discourses and behaviors of people from different cultures differentiate my perspective on these issues.
On the other hand, I got more or less similar scores as people in Turkey from dimensions such as masculinity and long term orientation. I realized that no matter how different I am from Turkey's culture on some dimensions, and sometimes I want to be a very different person from the people there, I will always carry a part of my culture. I think that I will no longer reject or be ashamed of my sides, thoughts that are similar to my own culture. Because I don't need to come under a certain category or think in a completely similar way with people from a certain culture. In fact, acquiring different behaviors and perspectives from different cultures makes me unique. I noticed this when I saw that I didn't actually get completely similar scores with neither Dutch culture nor Turkish.
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“Offline challenge” Assignment for Human Technology Interaction
Step 1: Put your phone in an envelope/safe.
Step 2: Keep your phone in the envelope/safe as long as you can.
I put my phone in the envelope at 1 pm and took it out at 6 pm. I continued my life without looking at my phone for a total of 5 hours.
I noticed my relationship with my phone and social media accounts in offline challenge. Looking at my phone and checking my social media accounts regularly has turned into a strong habit for me. Because I tried so hard not to look at my phone even for 5 hours, I had a very strong urge to get my phone out of the envelope. At the same time, being away from the phone for these 5 hours positively affected my subjective well-being. Because when I'm worried or alone, I always check my social media accounts, but without my phone, I spent more time with people and this made me feel better. Also, surfing on social media and comparing myself with the filtered photos and the lives of others makes me feel inadequate and anxious. That's why my anxiety level was less than normal during these 5 hours of being away from the phone.
Throughout this assignment, observing the positive things I experienced when I was away from my phone and almost being addicted to it led me to reconsider my relationship with my phone. I no longer take my phone for walks, to the grocery store, and sometimes to meet friends. In this way, I can stay in the moment more and the time I spend with myself and others is of higher quality.
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Check your ‘Screen time’ (iPhone) or ‘Digital wellbeing’ (Android) before class.
In this assignment, where we looked at our phone screen time for a week, my screen time was 3 hours and 30 minutes that week, even though I tried to reduce my screen time that week. At the same time, it was social media applications such as Instagram, Twitter, Youtube that I spent the most time with.
This assignment showed me where I am in the use of modern technology and how it is possible to have a healthier relationship with it. I do most of my work, such as communicating with my family, watching TV series/movies, reading articles/newspapers by using technological devices such as phones and computers, and therefore it is almost impossible not to use these devices. However, when I checked my screen time in other weeks, I saw that it can go up to 5-7 hours, which is a lot of time from doing my important work. And most of this time is spent watching someone's videos and looking at their photos on social media accounts. In the week I reduced my screen time to 3 and a half hours, I saw the effects of this, such as spending more time with my friends, finding time to paint and waking up more vigorous. After seeing how I can make my relationship with technology healthier and more balanced, I try to keep my average screen time between 1-5, 3-5 hours.
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